We are getting into the deepest part of winter.  It's dark by 5pm, the holidays are over, school is back in session, snow keeps falling outside, and we are beginning to have cabin fever.  Sometimes this can mean our spouse or partner (and kids) can get on our nerves.  Tempers get short, the kids are acting up, you’re tired of eating the same old pot roast and potatoes for dinner.  Maybe you’ve been putting off date night. Maybe you had one scheduled then it snowed. Now’s the time to find a sitter because Valentine’s Day is less than a month away.  If you've been thinking about working on your relationship, this may be the opportunity to do it.  

Right now, I’m offering a $50 gift card to your favorite restaurant to celebrate this day of love.  Take some time to rebuild your relationship or spice it up.

*Giveaway is open to new and current couples, not individuals.  Visit www.megchapmanllc.com/promotions to enter.  Winner will be announced through email provided.  Must have had one session with me by February 14, 2019, to qualify.  Giveaway ends February 14, 2019 at midnight/CST.

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Christmas is a time to celebrate family and friends, to give cheer and joy, spread kindness and be helpful.  If you’ve been considering adoption, you may think, “Right now just isn’t the time.  It’s too stressful this time of year.”  I know I thought the same thing when I imagined what it might have been like for me to begin the process or finalize an adoption during the holiday.  But after talking with an acquaintance about my concerns, she said, “What’s a better time to do this?!”  If you are interested in learning more about what this might look like for you, consider these ideas to help get you started:

1. Begin researching the differences between using an adoption agency versus pursuing a private/independent adoption.  Agencies are state licensed facilities that do all of the legal legwork for you.  A private or independent adoption means prospective adoptive parents have found their own birth mom.  They use adoption attorneys for the legalization process.
2. Research domestic, international, foster care adoption, or adoption of children with special needs.  Domestic adoption means adopting a baby born the U.S.  International or intercountry adoption means adopting a child born in a different and then legally bringing them to your home country.  Adopting from foster care means adopting children who are in the care of the state where you live.  Special needs adoption involves adopting a baby or child that has identifiable physical or psychological needs.
3. Research open, semi-open or closed adoption.  Open adoption involves an open level of contact between the adoptive family and birth family.  Semi-open adoption means identifying information is not disclosed between the families, and usually involves communication with a third party, like an agency.  Closed adoption simply means there is no communication or identifying information between either family.

In a series of blog posts, I’ll be going into more detail with each of these.  I know this can be very overwhelming and confusing.  You may even feel like you are learning a new language, but you can do this. 

Stay Organized
I’d recommend starting a Word document, journal, or folder where you can type things up or write feelings down or print out information that you’ve found helpful.  Being organized in this situation will help ease feelings of anxiety and becoming overwhelmed.  Even though this time of year is stressful with work parties, school recitals, shopping for presents, or seeing those pregnancy announcements on social media, building or continuing to build your family through adoption doesn’t have to be daunting.
 

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

While today is the day of love, you might find yourself in a relationship that may have lost its spark.  The romance has died or the passion has faded.  There is still love but it’s clouded by everyday life.  You may find yourself saddened by this or feeling lonely in your relationship.  Stop just going through the motions of your relationship and vow to make today be a new start.

A great way to think about your relationship is in terms of a bank account.  We each have a separate one and we would all love to have it remain full.  Remember when you were kids and for Valentine’s Day at school you had to create a Valentine’s box out of a shoe box?  Each time a Valentine was dropped into your box, it was exciting.  It made you feel good, didn’t it?  If you start your relationship adding little things to this account, it will grow.  But if you stop, the goodness drains.  Keep investing in your relationship by trying a few of the following things:

• Find out each other’s Love Language and work every day to honor that language.
• Leave notes of appreciation in the bathroom, the car, on the pillow, or in their lunch.
• Learn something new together; language, sport, hobby, etc.
• Have pillow talk.  Find out what’s really going on in one another’s lives.  Ask questions about each other’s friends, families, job stress, current events, movies, or books.  If you have children, try not to let them be the focus of your conversations.  Think about who the two of you were before kids entered the picture.
• Flirt.  Remember how fun it was to flirt with each other when you first got together? 
• Watch a romantic movie together.  The Notebook is a fav of mine!
• Go on a date.  Often times, we are so busy with other things in our lives (work, school, transporting kid(s) from one activity to another) that we forget to go on a date.  Call up a trusted family member or friend to babysit the kid(s) while the two of you go out on the town.  What do you both enjoy doing together?
• Plan a vacation together.  Do you enjoy hiking?  Camping?  The beach?  Snow skiing?  Boating? Wine country?  Decide if you want to stay in a hotel, condo, or cabin.   Will you fly or drive there?  What kind of activities does the area offer?  Choose one that you like and let your spouse/partner chose the other.

What other things can you think of that can help add some love to your account?  Feel free to comment below.

Awhile back I created a blog.  You don't see them in the archives?  Well, that's because I did a good job keeping up with them at first, for about a month, then I got busy and stopped.  This is my second attempt to keep up with blogging in hopes that I can help you and you can learn a little about me.  

For starters, this weekend's weather was FANTASTIC!  Here in Missouri, in the middle of February, we don't see 70 degree days like we did on Saturday.  Sunday was much different; windy and cooler.  I spent most of the day outside soaking up the free Vitamin D, walking the dog, watching my husband pull weeds out of the yard, and listening to the sounds of my son playing with his friend.  I have seen a lot of clients lately that struggle with depression.  It's hard not to when we've had more cloudy days in the past two months than sunny.  Next time you are feeling low or fatigued, try out the four things I mentioned.  I realize not everyone has a spouse or partner, but find a good friend and have a conversation.  I spent Sunday rearranging three rooms in my house.  Clutter bothers me and where I sit on the couch to relax, I can see all the toys from my son's playroom spill into every other room in the house.  Something had to be done.  After rearranging the rooms, I felt so much better.  I hadn't wasted another day getting mad about the clutter because something had been done.   This may not have been your ideal way of spending a weekend.  Whatever it is that pulls you out of that depressive state you are in, take advantage of the nicer weather headed your way and of spending your time wisely.