Happy Valentine’s Day! 

While today is the day of love, you might find yourself in a relationship that may have lost its spark.  The romance has died or the passion has faded.  There is still love but it’s clouded by everyday life.  You may find yourself saddened by this or feeling lonely in your relationship.  Stop just going through the motions of your relationship and vow to make today be a new start.

A great way to think about your relationship is in terms of a bank account.  We each have a separate one and we would all love to have it remain full.  Remember when you were kids and for Valentine’s Day at school you had to create a Valentine’s box out of a shoe box?  Each time a Valentine was dropped into your box, it was exciting.  It made you feel good, didn’t it?  If you start your relationship adding little things to this account, it will grow.  But if you stop, the goodness drains.  Keep investing in your relationship by trying a few of the following things:

• Find out each other’s Love Language and work every day to honor that language.
• Leave notes of appreciation in the bathroom, the car, on the pillow, or in their lunch.
• Learn something new together; language, sport, hobby, etc.
• Have pillow talk.  Find out what’s really going on in one another’s lives.  Ask questions about each other’s friends, families, job stress, current events, movies, or books.  If you have children, try not to let them be the focus of your conversations.  Think about who the two of you were before kids entered the picture.
• Flirt.  Remember how fun it was to flirt with each other when you first got together? 
• Watch a romantic movie together.  The Notebook is a fav of mine!
• Go on a date.  Often times, we are so busy with other things in our lives (work, school, transporting kid(s) from one activity to another) that we forget to go on a date.  Call up a trusted family member or friend to babysit the kid(s) while the two of you go out on the town.  What do you both enjoy doing together?
• Plan a vacation together.  Do you enjoy hiking?  Camping?  The beach?  Snow skiing?  Boating? Wine country?  Decide if you want to stay in a hotel, condo, or cabin.   Will you fly or drive there?  What kind of activities does the area offer?  Choose one that you like and let your spouse/partner chose the other.

What other things can you think of that can help add some love to your account?  Feel free to comment below.

Awhile back I created a blog.  You don't see them in the archives?  Well, that's because I did a good job keeping up with them at first, for about a month, then I got busy and stopped.  This is my second attempt to keep up with blogging in hopes that I can help you and you can learn a little about me.  

For starters, this weekend's weather was FANTASTIC!  Here in Missouri, in the middle of February, we don't see 70 degree days like we did on Saturday.  Sunday was much different; windy and cooler.  I spent most of the day outside soaking up the free Vitamin D, walking the dog, watching my husband pull weeds out of the yard, and listening to the sounds of my son playing with his friend.  I have seen a lot of clients lately that struggle with depression.  It's hard not to when we've had more cloudy days in the past two months than sunny.  Next time you are feeling low or fatigued, try out the four things I mentioned.  I realize not everyone has a spouse or partner, but find a good friend and have a conversation.  I spent Sunday rearranging three rooms in my house.  Clutter bothers me and where I sit on the couch to relax, I can see all the toys from my son's playroom spill into every other room in the house.  Something had to be done.  After rearranging the rooms, I felt so much better.  I hadn't wasted another day getting mad about the clutter because something had been done.   This may not have been your ideal way of spending a weekend.  Whatever it is that pulls you out of that depressive state you are in, take advantage of the nicer weather headed your way and of spending your time wisely.